I've been thinking

about how precious life is.  I stumbled upon a song that just I couldn't stop singing. Repeat and repeat again, just like I used to do while in high school while trying to fall asleep in my wrought iron bed. I have recently realized that I don't let myself just think all that often anymore. Busyness with life and raising Mason and being obsessed with things like buying a house and our recent car problems have distracted me. While raising Mason is my calling and joy,  the house/car idolizing has got to stop and I spent some time repenting to the Lord about that one. I need to trust that God is in control and He is sufficient.  

  I also stumbled upon some amazing blog writers that inspired me and are really changing lives. One woman writes the names of babies that have gone home to Jesus in the sand and takes beautiful pictures of the name in the sand with sunset in tow. I just kept reading the names and crying and praying and realizing that this is what we are all meant to do. To find something that means everything to someone else and do it. God has called us to serve in ways that are outside ourselves, whether its wiping bottoms, being a missionary in Africa, playing with orphan puppies, writing names in the sand or making music. I just hope it's all for Jesus.

 I just kept thinking and I realized I have neglected my creativity so much I don't even know where to start again, hence this blog. I guess the blog is the new pink diary "hidden"under my mattress next to my clove cigarettes. I feel a little stale, a little old, a little like I watch too much tv and don't DO enough. But, I'm not going to spend more time pitying myself and relishing in how cool and creative I USED to be, I just want to incorporate art more into my life again. It's still in me because that is how God made me. I think I just got a little side-tracked in trying to be a "responsible Christian mom" and forgot about just being Ashley whom likes to paint, write, photograph, collage AND make dinner, have a schedule,  organize, wipe bottoms, respect my husband, play with Mason, pay the bills on time AND love Jesus with all of my heart.  So I've decided I'm going to start being who God has made me to be. I realize that I need to keep priorities in order, but the time I do have to myself is going to be put to better use. It's a process, but one I know is worthy to be given a fighting chance.